“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them.”
- George Bernard Shaw
 
FAKE IT TILL YOU
MAKE IT!
Dr. Jack Barnathan
nystrength.com
nystrength@mac.com
 
I once listened to a famous motivational speaker share his interpretation of "concepting" the things you most want in the world.  This guru of great inspiration told his audience that they didn't wish hard enough for the things they wanted.  If only we could vividly picture in our minds EXACTLY what we want, then it would "appear!"

Magic.  Like the movies.
 
Not just "I want more money" - but an exact figure and by what date we wanted it.  Not just a new car but the model, year, leather trim and wheel rim.  He told us we couldn't just say "I want the girl / guy of my dreams to walk into my life" - but that we had to visualize exactly who our "soul mate" would be.  What color hair, eyes, their smile, their job, how much they earned (this guru had a funny way of bringing money into every aspect of his "spiritual" teachings...).
 
In short this Wizard of Wishing told us that our problem was that we didn't wish clearly enough for what we wanted to fall out of the sky into our laps.
 
As I sat there and thought about his approach I kept thinking "if the perfect person showed up for most of the people in this lecture - they wouldn't recognize the person in that room who THEIR soul mate was suppose to be!!  It's not that the perfect person / job, etc hasn't shown up. 

We haven't shown up for them to recognize!!!
 
It's not the "other magical person" that we should be visualizing - but instead we should be clearly seeing who WE HAD TO BECOME in order to draw that perfect person, job, whatever into our lives.
 
The perfect person is out there.  It's just that WE haven't shown up so they can recognize us as their "perfect partner".
 
We've got to wish a better person in the mirror, and then take the step to make it real.
 
"Fake it till you make it" is a phrase used in 12 step programs, which I really admire.  I learned about it when I was the director of a community Crisis / Drug Prevention Hotline (before becoming a doctor).  It's not about being full of fluff and just tricking other people into buying your snake oil.  That violates all the laws (and yes there are laws in the universe just like gravity and it will come back to kick you hard if you do).  What it is encouraging you to do is take the first, tentative steps toward your goal even though you know you still have a lot of learning to do.  Have an open mind and heart while walking boldly FORWARD.  And that's the key - walking forward.
 
You can sit and contemplate forever, but if you don't go to the gym or take that walk you'll never experience the benefits of vibrant strength & fitness.  It all starts with that first step...
 
Your goal doesn't just show up and wink at you announcing, "I'm here!!!"  You have to take the steps (and sometimes it requires us to look inside at what we need to improve.  To change.  Sometimes, to move beyond the childish pursuits that could be holding us in a bad place.
 
Another way of saying it is to "act as if..."  In the Bible there are so many examples of individuals being told to have the faith that a sea will part - or that you could move a mountain from one place to another or make a meal out of a few fish and loaves.

Another story in the bible says you should have the faith “like a mustard seed”.  Many people miss the point.  In the story the emphasis wasn’t on the “size” of a mustard seed (they are very tiny, inferring you only need “little” faith) but the actual translation is “as a mustard seed”.  Mustard seeds are very tough little seeds, which can survive drought and poor soil, but still take root and grow.  How difficult is it for us to “take root and grow”?
 
Another way of describing it is FAITH.  Faith in your dreams.  Faith in you.

Having enough faith…to have faith!
 
But remember it must be a faith that is on it's feet and moving.  Growing in the world.  Exploring.  Sometimes making mistakes (we all do) and having to begin again or differently.  But we're moving.  Growing.  Acting as if and "faking it till we're making it".
 
And then, without you even thinking about it.  That thing / person you were dreaming about, appears. 

In three seconds your life can change and you’ll never see anyone or anything the same again.
 
But remember, it was you who had to "show up" first.